Last week, O had another one of his knock-down, drag out, screaming and hysterical temper tantrums. I tried everything I had in my tool box. Talking quietly, trying to get him to take deep breaths, giving him a hug, giving him a time out. Nothing was working.
I felt so helpless. In that moment, all I could think about was “why am I the only one going through this? This must be my fault.”
I know it sounds silly, but in that moment, that’s truly how I felt. Alone. To my knowledge, none of my close friends have kids who experience the same thing. Tantrums for sure, but not like O.
And because of this fact, I very rarely talk about it because, well, I’m embarrassed. The blank stares I get when I tell people about them just make me want to curl up in a ball. So I keep silent and isolate. Healthy right?
Then I had a thought, if I’m isolating, there must be other parents out there doing the same thing. So I took to Instagram and expressed myself and asked for help.
It came in droves. I can’t even tell you how many messages I got from parents going through the same thing, who HAD gone through the same thing, teachers, educators, all giving me incredible amazing advice and/or support.
Turns out, not so alone. I not only felt empowered with new tools, but also an overwhelming sense of community.
It’s funny, in my new business, I am constantly encouraging women to reach out to me to ask for the help they deserve yet here I was, not doing the very thing I believe so strongly in.
What was stopping me? My pride. I’m a perfectionist (in a way) and feel like by admitting I feel completely powerless and out of control can feel weak. Yet, as our friend Brene Brown keeps hammering home – true strength comes from being vulnerable.
So if you’re feeling alone in your journey – reach out. Doesn’t have to be to me, but so someone safe and loving or an online support group. Because chances are, you’re not alone, and you sharing may encourage someone to do the same. I cannot emphasize enough the power of community.
This is a crazy journey and we’re all in it together. ❤